Meet Stefan Underwood, MS, CSCS. He’s Exos’ Senior Vice President of Methodology and a leading voice in human performance.
With a background in exercise science and organizational psychology, he’s spent the last two decades coaching everyone from elite athletes and Special Operations Forces to Fortune 500 leaders.
Today, he leads our Performance Innovation Team and helps bring Exos’ methods to life through education and strategy.
And though he’s coached and led around the world at the highest level, he’s never lost sight of the main thing: Performance is personal. And it’s about empathetically supporting the human in front of you, in the ways that matter most to them.
Team Exos: Stefan, you've said before that performance is personal. It sounds simple, but it challenges a lot of what we hear in the wellness world. What does that phrase really mean to you?
Stefan Underwood: It means performance has to be rooted in real life — your life. Not some idealized version. Everyone has different circumstances, different responsibilities. So if we’re going to talk about sustainable performance, it has to be personal.
I used to say there are no universal truths in performance. I’d revise that now. Sleep is good for you. Movement matters. Eating whole foods helps.
But even with those truths, applying them looks different for everyone. If you’ve got a newborn, or you're caring for an aging parent, sleep may not be on the table. So the question becomes: What can you prioritize right now?
Team Exos: That’s a very human perspective. You might expect a well-being coach to judge you from this all-or-nothing lens, but it sounds like compassionate encouragement is the best way forward.
Stefan: Absolutely. We live in a culture that’s quick to judge. Someone skips a workout or eats a donut, and suddenly they’re failing at wellness. But what if they’ve made five other healthy choices that day?
And what if they chose that donut for intentional reasons? Social connection is one of the most important factors contributing to our health and happiness. So maybe I ate that donut because it was shared with my kid and brought me joy. Or maybe I just wanted a donut! That has to be alright.
Aiming for "perfection" in what society tells us is healthy, is in my opinion, not healthy. That judgment mindset doesn’t help anyone.
“Performance is personal” means we stop chasing what everyone else is doing and start owning our own path. You can’t copy and paste someone else’s routine. You have to build your own playbook.
Team Exos: You’ve mentioned that consistency is more important than perfection. Can you expand on that?
Stefan: Sure. Consistency beats intensity, hands down. You are what you repeatedly do. Every decision is a vote for the person you're becoming. If you can’t do everything, do something. And do it consistently. Perfectionism is the enemy of progress.
People chase the newest diet or fitness trend, and they grind through it for a few weeks out of sheer discipline. But if you hate it, you won’t stick with it. Discipline is important, but sustainability is the real key. Find what you enjoy. Build a routine you can live with. That’s how you get results over decades, not just weeks.
Meanwhile, compare “fitness influencers” to a healthy 87 year-old who lives in a “blue zone” like Okinawa, Japan, or Sardinia, Spain who knows nothing about the latest wellness trend. Health, well-being, and happiness don’t need to be what TikTok tells you it is.
Team Exos: How did you become a coach, and how did you develop your coaching philosophy?
Stefan: I didn’t map it all out ahead of time. I fell into coaching. I was bartending in Australia when a professor told me to take the CSCS exam. I had no five-year plan. I just said yes to opportunities. But looking back, I can see how my coaching philosophy was really shaped by my upbringing.
I grew up in Singapore. My dad worked offshore and was gone a lot so quite a bit of the parenting fell on my mom. She’s tough. Her father got sober after WWII and was deeply involved in AA.
So she raised us with those principles: One day at a time, accept the things you cannot change. And just for today, choose to be happy.
These were all mantras in our household. In my late 30s to early 40s, I got into reading about Stoicism and I realized how much my upbringing (informed by AA) had aligned with Stoicism — even if I didn't know that word as a child.
But you can see how it ties to the concept of "performance is personal." It doesn't just mean that it is different for everyone. It is also personal from the perspective of "it's yours to own." A coach can't do the work for you. They are a guide, but you need to own your actions and own your performance. One day at a time, through the choices you make.
Team Exos: You and I have talked about this idea of an "internal locus of control" before. I know you're passionate about it and it seems really applicable to what you were just saying. Can you tell us what a internal locus of control is and what it can mean in the context of performance?
Stefan: Having an internal locus of control is the belief that you have power over your choices, even when life feels chaotic. You can’t always change your circumstances, but you can choose how you respond. It goes back to that AA principle of “Just for today, I’m going to choose to be happy.”
I think of burnout at work. Yes, companies are overloading people. Layoffs happen, expectations don't drop, and people are hurting. So I respect that, and it is certainly a very real thing that is fairly widespread in society today.
But you still have a choice in how you respond to those chaotic times. If you respond by getting less sleep, eating worse, and numbing out with alcohol, you're digging a deeper hole.
I don't say that judgmentally. I empathize with those buried at work. But it's about recognizing where you have agency. What can you control when things are hard? When it's all hitting the fan at work, that's the time to double down on your health and well-being: Eat well, prioritize sleep, move your body, cut the alcohol. Make choices that help you be as resilient as possible.
That’s not judgment. It’s about recognizing your agency. What can you control, even when things are hard?
I love this one question I heard from a well-known executive coach named Jerry Colonna: “How am I complicit in the conditions I say I do not want?”
If that isn’t radical ownership, I don't know what is. It's not about blame. It’s about empowerment and being really thoughtful about where you have agency in any situation.
Team Exos: How does that belief show up in your coaching at Exos?
Stefan: At Exos, we see the gym as more than just being about fitness. I often talk to my kids about "challenge by choice." The gym is a great place to challenge yourself. So it is a place where you grow and adapt. It's where you practice how to manage struggle, and how to keep showing up when things are hard. That transfers to life.
If you can push through discomfort in the gym, you’re more likely to keep your cool during a hard conversation at work, or respond with grace when your kid spills something at dinner. We’re not just building fitness. We’re building resilience.
Team Exos: You’ve also talked about being a role model for your kids. How does parenting tie into your views on performance?
Stefan: For me, parenting is one of the biggest drivers of my own health journey. I want my kids to see what it looks like to be consistent, curious, and committed. That doesn’t mean perfect. But it means showing up with intention.
Team Exos: I know you have a daughter who loves sports. How do you see sports and the gym helping shape her mindset as she grows up?
Stefan: I want my daughter to grow up in a world where strong women lead. And that takes more men speaking up about women’s performance, health, and equity in sports and the workplace. We all benefit when women thrive. I’ve seen it in my colleagues, in my family. It matters.
Team Exos: Last question: What does high performance mean to you now?
Stefan: It's about showing up intentionally. High performers are the ones who make intentional choices each day around how they want to show up.
For me, that's choosing the discomfort of hill sprints vs. comfort of sitting on the couch. And choosing a good night's sleep so I can show up at my best the next day.
But it's also choosing to turn my phone off and be super present with my kids instead of scrolling online. It's choosing to coach my kids’ sports teams. It's choosing to take a moment to run upstairs and tell my wife I love her, just because.
I'm far from perfect. But every day, I can say I make at least some important, intentional choices. And when something gets hard and the little voice inside my head starts to give me a way to back out, that is the loudest signal to forge ahead.
Like I said at the top, performance is personal. Everyone has their own journey. For me, it is all about being intentional and present as much as possible. Because performance isn’t a destination. It’s a personal, lifelong practice.
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About the Expert
Stefan Underwood, MS, CSCS, is Exos’ Senior Vice President of Methodology and a recognized authority on human performance. He holds a BSc in Exercise Science and a MS in Organizational Psychology. With 20 years of coaching elite athletes, Special Operations Forces, and Fortune 500 leaders, he helps turn human potential into peak organizational results. Stefan leads Exos’ multidisciplinary Performance Innovation Team and teaches cutting-edge methods worldwide through Exos Education.
